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The Haven

MuellThe President just before he leaps through the window and arrests the escaping Dirty Harry (Beat Albrecht and Smith & Wesson)

Dirty Harry Jailed for “Corrupt Justice”

Go ahead, take my day

In his latest move to take down the corrupt criminal justice system that protects the criminal prosecutors and railroads innocent victims, the President personally tackled, arrested and convicted the legendary movie cop Dirty Harry.

The White House announced an arrest warrant for Dirty Harry earlier this week for his “despicable record of ignoring defendant’s rights and executing defendants after prolonged witch hunts which forced them to dangle in fear of the ‘political arm of the law.’”

The White House announced an arrest warrant for Dirty Harry earlier this week for his “despicable record of ignoring defendant’s rights and executing defendants after prolonged witch hunts which forced them to dangle in fear of the ‘political arm of the law.’”

The wanted poster issued for Dirty Harry (Adriel Hampton)

Nor does the President trust conventional law enforcement, including ICE and Homeland Security, who have allowed “criminals, murderers and rapists to flood our borders.” He recently appointed a new Personal Private Justice Force, staffed by Sheriff Joe Arpaio and the National Humans Rights Brigade.[1] These hand picked “defenders of freedom” are tasked with “tracking down rogue law enforcement and their criminal allies wherever witch hunting crime occurs.”

Using an American grown network of private snitches and informants, the PPJF located Dirty Harry at the San Francisco police department. According to Arpaio, “the President personally led the force in the chase to apprehend the rogue cop and trapped him trying to escape through a window onto a ledge.”

“That’s not exactly what happened,” Harry’s partner, Sergeant ST Ouge, told reporters. Ougue, Harry’s 49th partner during the last ten years,[2] claims, “Those border patrol pigs came in with AK-47s and smoke bombs, tackled and tied Harry and dragged him through the window to the overhang. They forced him to wait with more than a hundred guns pointed at his head while POTUS squeezed through the window to arrest him.”

“The border patrol came in with AK-47s and smoke bombs, tackled and tied Harry and dragged him through the window to the overhang. They forced him to wait with more than a hundred guns pointed at his head while POTUS squeezed through the window to arrest him.”

Ougue added, “That part took several hours while they applied fifty gallons of grease to the frame so he could slide through. Even then, it took a dozen agents to push him through.”

New Direction in Law Enforcement Appreciation

The same politicians who sneered at “phony defendants rights” such as the Miranda warning and reliance on “corrupt and savvy defense attorneys” who shielded hard-core criminals from justice experienced a dramatic reversal in the eighteen month’s since the President took office.

Now we know the police and prosecutors are the hardened criminals and “corrupt and savvy defense attorneys” are the only friends we have. That and the President’s power of pardon. “If you’

“The Justice Department no longer targets criminal rapists and corrupt drug dealers, who we know to be criminal because they’re immigrants or black,” Dinesh D’Sousa told FOX News. “Instead they target innocent White Collar Americans who do nothing more than trade influence, rig elections, share a few tips about trade deals and embezzle retirement funds. This is unacceptable in America.”

“The Justice Department no longer targets criminal rapists and corrupt drug dealers, who we know to be criminal because they’re immigrants or black…they target innocent White Collar Americans who do nothing more than trade influence, rig elections, share a few tips about trade deals and embezzle retirement funds. This is unacceptable in America.”

“We have never opposed the rights of defendants,” POTUS Tweeted. “It’s the CRIMINAL FBI and WITCH HUNTING DOJ who want to deny DO PROCESS to all Americans. INNOCENT Americans. What they do to me, THEY DO TO YOU!!!”

Asked how he felt about this reversal of fortune, Harry sneered, “Go ahead, take my day.” And take his day they did as the President’s PPJF hustled him into a van to transport him to an extreme rendition site.

Before they left, Force members asked for directions to Robert Mueller’s house.

[1]: Formerly known as the Ku Klux Klan.

[2]: The others died heroically on the job.

Jonesing for an additional 45 fix? Check out:

Wry noir author Phillip T. Stephens wrote Cigerets, Guns & Beer, Raising Hell, and the Indie Book Award winning Seeing Jesus. Follow him @stephens_pt.

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Phillip T Stephens

Phillip T Stephens

Living metaphor. Follow me @stephens_pt.