Donald Trump Should Be Forced to Watch NASCAR, Listen to Country Music, and Go Hillbilly Handfishing
Post presidency, if Donald Trump is going to continue leading a cult of 70 million country folk in the red states, then he’s got to walk the walk. He can’t just hang around at Mira Lago playing golf. His followers don’t play golf. Well, they do play mini-golf. But they don’t hang around at country clubs. They hang around at evangelical churches.
Which reminds me, has Trump accepted Jesus into his heart yet? Doesn’t he need to be dunked in that river — yes, that same river that he hillbilly handfished in the other day?
Also, he needs to eat liver mush.
What? You don’t know what liver mush is? Well, you’ve never been to the Carolinas, apparently. It’s lovely stuff, kind of the consistency of poop. And it also tastes like poop. And Trumpers love it!
Also, why is he driving in a limousine in a motorcade of black vehicles? Doesn’t he need one of the Proud Boy pickup trucks with the ‘Merican flag flying proudly in the back?
No, Wait. I Just Realized. Trumpers Love Trump Because He’s Not Like Them
I take it all back. If Trump did all those things, his followers would desert him. The reason they worship him is…
