Duck, Duck, Goose

How to tell a Canadian

David Martin
The Haven

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Photo by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash

We Canadians have traditionally been associated with maple syrup, Mounties and hockey. But my half-hour of in-depth research has revealed a much more accurate indicator: If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s likely Canadian.

This also holds true for the duck’s family member the goose and even its close relative the loon. The closer you look, the more you realize Canadians are defined by water fowl.

If you’ve got a pocketful of Canadian change, chances are it includes a one-dollar coin. Check the reverse side and you’ll see a picture of a loon which is why we affectionately call the coin a loonie. Now that the obverse features a portrait of King Charles III, there’s arguably a loon on either side.

Look elsewhere and you’ll find ducks and their relatives abound in Canada. Gander is Newfoundland’s fourth largest town. Moreover, the biggest town in central Labrador is Happy Valley — Goose Bay.

And what could be more Canadian than the Canada goose, a bird that eats all your seed and then craps all over your lawn? It probably should qualify as our national bird instead of the innocuous Canada jay. It seems only appropriate that it’s also the brand name of Canada’s most expensive overpriced winter coat.

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David Martin
The Haven

Wordsmith, humorist and author of “Dare to be Average” on Amazon. Support Dave’s writing by joining Medium: https://daretobeaverage.medium.com/membership