HUMOR
E. Jean Carroll’s Cat Condemns Trump to Hell
“Vagina T. Fireball” Shows her Claws
Dear pussy grabber,
My name is Vagina T. Fireball. I love my name. I love it almost as much as I love my mom, E. Jean Carroll. I think you know her?
I don’t even mind this crazy breakaway collar she made to keep me from catching birds. I’m sad to say it works. Luckily, I can still kill mice, and they taste better anyways. Plus, I like the way they squeal. Kind of like you did when we beat you in court. Loser.
Your lawyer asked my human why she didn’t scream.
He found fault with her for watching “The Apprentice” and continuing to shop at Bergdorf Goodmans after you attacked her in the dressing room like the mangy tomcat you are. She was trying to live her life. Where is the list of acceptable places for victims to shop?
And you’re upset because she named me Vagina. Your lawyers wanted to inform the jury, but the judge said no. Thank you, judge.
For some unknown reason, my human posted my name on Twitter with that photo where I’m modeling my collar, beautifully, I might add. Until then, it was our secret.
