Opening to much acclaim amidst Glenda Jackson’s return to Broadway is Edward Albee’s 1991 play, Three Tall Women. The story, as the title suggests, revolves around three tall women.
One of them is very tall, the middle one is quite tall, and the third, the shortest, would be tall if she were with anyone aside from the other two. She looks short beside them, but she’s not really.
The play looks at the relationship of the three women to their tallness. The very tall one doesn’t want to be so tall, and her conflict with her height is the driving force behind the play.
She’s not as tall as a lamp post or anything like that, but she’d definitely have to dip her head down going through a doorway.
Even in a room with average ceiling height she’d probably have to stoop a bit, and it would be tricky if there were drinks involved as she wouldn’t be able to tip her head back far enough. She could use a straw, but still…
Forget about a basement. She’d have to crawl in on her hands and knees to fit in a basement.
A cave would be awkward, and tunnels are definitely out.
A good place for her would be a castle. The big rooms would be ideal for someone of her height. They’re difficult to heat, though.
Target had a sale over the weekend on space heaters. A couple of those in each room and even a big castle would be quite toasty.
The short one (not that she’s short) could live almost anywhere and it wouldn’t be a problem.
The play starts out with the tall one expressing her desire not to be so tall to the other two women.
It’s not like she wants to be short, just a bit less tall than she is now. A bit taller than the quite tall one would be alright.
The third woman, the short one (not by normal standards), is critical of the very tall one for not appreciating her tallness. She tells her that if she were very tall like she is, or even nearly as tall, she would not be complaining about it.
“To be tall is the best,” she says. “Like, you can be a basketball player if you’re tall.”
The very tall one says she doesn’t want to be a basketball player.
The short one tells her this isn’t the point, that basketball player was just an example, and that it doesn’t have to be basketball. She could be a window cleaner if she wanted. The very tall one says she doesn’t want to be a window cleaner either.
At this point you’re starting to wonder what exactly the very tall one does want to be. It’s like nothing is good enough for her.
The short one (not short really) says there are other things aside from being a basketball player or window cleaner.
Together, the three women try to think what those things might be, though you can tell the middle one’s not really into it.
It’s here that the play begins to fall apart.
The middle one keeps looking out the window.
Scholars of Albee have suggested she’s distracted because she’s ordered an extra-long bed and is looking out the window for the UPS truck to arrive, though it’s not clear where they get this from.
You’d think if anyone needed an extra-long bed it would be the tall one.
But there’s no mention at all of her ordering one. The omission has led critics to believe that she curls up when she sleeps. Otherwise her legs would stick out the end. It seems almost impossible that if that were happening, she wouldn’t mention it at some point.
What we learn ultimately from this play is the futility of worrying about how tall you are. Nowhere is this more clearly expressed than in the final words of the play, when the short one (not really) wonders out loud, “What about giraffe dentist?”
