Eel Tickling, Couch Fucking and Other Wacky New Ways to Stay Fit While Quarantined

Transforming our flabby world

Thank you, I need your help getting back into shape! Photo by Jay Ruzesky on Unsplash

“Eel tickling” and “couch fucking” appeared in a list of purported top writer badges one can earn on Medium. I’ve not ascended to that level, but I don’t doubt that these honors exist.

But, both “eel tickling” and “couch fucking” and several other activities would serve equally well as names for killer workouts.

Credit where credit is due — the germ of this idea came to me via Hogan Torah. He is at once hilarious, absurd, wise and wacky. IMHO, one of the best comedic writers here. Credit also to Alex Cooper who used the phrase “eel tickling” in an 11/11/19 Quora post.

Read on to see what I mean about the workout bits.

Eel Tickling

Ready for your work out? Photo by Francisco Jesús Navarro Hernández on Unsplash

Just coochy-coochy-coo the dude above and get ready for action. Pure adrenaline baby! Way to get the old heart pumping.

If you’re so lucky as to engage in the tickle-tango with an electric eel you’ll get the additional benefit of tetanic muscle contractions, terrific for toning up. You’ll be ripped…