Elon Musk Announces New Rules for Twitter
The Hellscape Has Been Defined
Greetings, Citizens of Earth!
Allow me to introduce myself, Elon Musk — Twitter’s new Moderator-in-Chief! I have temporarily removed the character constraint on my account to Tweet some important information about the coming changes.
But first: Power to the people! We have stormed the digital Bastille! Hear Ye, hear Ye, hear Ye! He’s been freed from Twitter jail! Next, we’ll spring The Trumpster and end the ban on Bannon! I’ll reinstate Alex Jones and even MTG!
But, in order to avoid losing all of our advertising revenue, a few rules are in order:
Content Moderation Council
For the next few months, I will be personally moderating all Tweets. But, at a future point in time, I will appoint a board of like-minded individuals to assist me with ensuring that our platform remains unbiased and diverse.
Verified Accounts
A fee of $7.99/month will allow you to have an account that verifies you as the legitimate owner or it will verify that you are willing to pay for a fake account.
Algorithms
My team at Neuralink has spent the last two years mapping my brain. This map will provide the blueprint for all…
