BUSINESS, TECHNOLOGY

Elon Musk Wins Nobel Peace Prize For Destroying Twitter

Faith in humanity restored

Picture of Elon Musk from Wikipedia. Picture of Nobel Peace Prize winner from NPR.

After acquiring Twitter, Elon Musk vowed to remove hate speech, cyberbullying, misinformation, bots, and fake accounts. Turns out the only way to do so is to burn the social media platform to the ground.

Musk tweeted that his company is on track to file for bankruptcy next year. We were unsurprised at this announcement, given his questionable moves since he joined.

• Dissolved Twitter’s board
• Fired the CEO and CFO
• Laid off 25% of Twitter’s workforce, then rehired some of the engineers
• Moved Tesla’s engineers to work on Twitter
• Changed verification requirements to paying $20 a month for a blue checkmark
• Changed verification requirements to $8 a month after Stephen King complained
• Changed original verification requirements to a gray check instead of a blue check, then removed the gray check on the same day

We reached out to Musk on all these moves. Musk smiled.

“I originally backed out of buying Twitter. People thought I was once again manipulating the stock market. In reality, I was lied too.