HUMOR
Email Exchange Between The CIA and A kid
You googled does the CIA have butt recognition tech
From: CIA@USgov.in
Subject: We need answers to some questions kid.
Hello there kid. When we were randomly scrolling for content.. I mean national security, we came across this guy who had made many red flag searches. You googled does the CIA have butt recognition tech? Would the CIA be willing to share this tech with me in return for info on the guy I think would be the next Snowden? You must be out of your mind. We haven’t perfected facial recognition yet and we’ll move towards this new tech which .. okay kid we will let you on a little secret. Since you’re just a stupid little kid whom no one would believe. Facial recognition has a high error rate. Our system shows a 99 percent match between the president and an orange. So when his highness found out, he was pretty pissed. He was boasting how he had the best cheeks(not the face ones) and then in a eureka moment he suggested this alternative tech. We tried shifting the convo to his cognitive brilliance but the great idea was stuck in his head. Anyways, you mentioned the next Snowden. Give us legit info and we might consider your offer. Also we also need to know what u gonna do with the butt tech. It’s standard procedure. We have to make ourselves believe that we are giving it in responsible hands. Like with Arms and Saudis. Whom you gonna trust with arms? Guys fighting proxy wars right.
To: CIA@USgov.in
Subject: I knew I would get your attention if I googled shady shit!
So the guy whom I call the next Snowden is my classmate. Bear with me. He gets pissed off if anyone finds out anything about him. His dad read his personal dairy once and he was disgusted at the lack of privacy and threatened to apply for asylum in Russia. Last week he said I wonder what Facebook does with our data. There are some other instances also but I guess you get the gist of it. You just wait for him to work for you guys. His scandalized ass will betray you. Anyways regarding the butt tech, there is this guy who takes a dump outside our house every morning. He drags his cheeks on the driveway to make sure non of it is left. So I figured we had his butt prints. We’ll have the bastard bang to rights if you guys help us.
