Empathy to America: “I Quit.”
I feel your pain, and it’s killing me.
Dear America,
I quit.
Okay, not really. But now that I have your attention, I must take time off.
Recent events in your country have made it very hard for me to do my job.
In short, I’m burned out.
I don’t expect you to understand how I feel because you are not me and only I, Empathy, can understand how I feel.
But people who spend time with me know that I have the unique ability to relate to others’ emotions. I’m no mind-reader, but as my dating profile explains I am a very attentive listener.
I’m especially attuned to sensing negative feelings. Desperation. Anxiety. Fear. Anger. Guilt because you never listen to your mother’s voicemails. You name it, I can’t ignore it. And unlike Pity, I want to do something about it.
Given that I’m the only human trait that appreciates where people are coming from, I’ve always been busy. But these last four years have been grueling.
The problem isn’t the hours. I’m used to being “on” 24/7, and I’ve never been able to walk into a room without reading it.
The issue is the increased quantity and intensity of emotion. Since 2016, millions of generally content folks have become distraught at the state of the nation, stressed about their future, infuriated at the government, media, big business, plus fed up with the entire Kardashian-Jenner ensemble.
It’s an awful lot for an empath like me to absorb.
Of course, not everyone wants me around. Rarely am I invited to attend divorce proceedings or Thanksgiving dinners. And most politicians ignore me once they get elected. I am, however, credited with Joe Biden’s relatability. He even has me on speed dial.
Your current President? Never met him. Well, not until he got Covid-19 and a nurse snuck me into Walter Reed. Prior to his diagnosis, Trump didn’t know it was possible to experience the same aches as others. (Empathy? Fake news!) But once he understood just how uncomfy it can be to have the virus (so much worse than bone spurs) he was ready to fight this thing! Unfortunately, that epiphany has been short lived.
Overall, fervent reaction to Trump and his administration — on both sides of the aisle and in all 50 states — has been a huge source of emotional fatigue. I admire your First Amendment and the freedom to say whatever the hell you want, but there’s only so much hate speech and scathing satire one can stomach.
America, I feel your pain, and it’s exhausting me. Actually, it’s exhausting us.
Last year I considered taking a sabbatical. Instead, I just stopped checking Twitter and went about my business of mirroring your rage and despair.
And then, 2020.
The pandemic. Protests. Wildfires. Hurricanes. Murder hornets. Then the death of RBG and a Supreme Court battle on the eve of an already contentious election. Then the first presidential debate; I thought that shit show was the last straw. Until Trump got the Covid.
I need to get away before things get worse, because if we’ve learned anything this past year it’s that things can always get worse, usually by late afternoon.
My therapist agrees I need a break, even though my absence will make his job more difficult. Maybe that’s why he urged me not to quit.
“Imagine what life would be like without you, Empathy,” Dr. Wiseman said during our last session. “No one would ever walk in other people’s shoes. Marriages would fall apart. People would stop donating to charities. Compromise would be non-existent and there would be fewer apologies. Without the ability to understand how other people feel, crime would escalate and civility, what’s left of it, would cease. As for racial justice and gender equality? Pipe dreams! Plus, without Empathy around, Real Housewives will air forever.”
That’s fair, I thought. He’s a good therapist.
So, America, I’m not leaving permanently. You need me too much.
But I despertaely a need a vacation. So until the day after the election I’ll be laying on a beach wearing noise-cancelling headphones.
If you’d like assistance while I’m away, Sympathy and Compassion are obvious stand-ins, and Common Sense has a lot of time on its hands. Just don’t call Apathy, who could exacerbate Covid-19 infections. Plus, we need to get out the vote!
While I’m away please don’t piss off your loved ones, destroy democracy, or start another war with a country whose people you can’t understand even when I am around.
And don’t be mad at me. Try to muster a bit of yours truly for yours truly. Then again, since I’m the only one who can walk in my new flip flops, I’ll settle for a little more respect. That, and a raise.
Until we meet again, America, keep calm and do whatever it takes to carry on. The world needs both of us to survive.
With mask on and fingers crossed,
Empathy
