Extraterrestrials I Have Met During My Psychic Travels Through Space: Pt. 1 (A-C)

Note: Wikipedia claims these races are all fictional. Who are you going to believe: them, or me?

Andorians…Always saying stuff like, “Lets see, we can invade Earth and/or Venus” and “We can kill and/or enslave all the inhabitants.” Pretty annoying.

Androsynth…Always telling you to “Walk this way,” but it’s hard to do because their physiology is unique.

The Anti-Monitor…Chaos rules in their school hallways.

Aquatoids…Main industry: Underwater breath mints.

Aras…Always humming arias that seem to be lacking something.

Arceans…Almost weightless. I found I could sail an Arcean quite easily.

Asari...They look like walking textiles, but don’t ever try to wear Asari. You’ll regret it.

Asurans…Intergalactic insurance agents.

Atavus…Favorite household pet is the Atavus finch.

Axons…I said to one of them, “Axon, Axoff." They didn’t get it.

Azgonians…Landed in Arizona, migrated to Oregon.

Aziam...So lazy, and proud of it, their name is an anagram for “I am lazy.” (I know, the “L” is missing. Because they’re lazy.)

Baalols…When they talk they sound like sheep laughing out loud.

Badoon…Avid fans of The Little Rascals; the way Buckwheat said balloon always cracked them up. So they adopted it as their name.

Banik…Irreplaceable medical textbook: Banik Disorders.

Bith…A Bith is always a Bith under the weather. Just stands to reason.

Boolite…Scary, but not too scary.

Bothans…When I first met them I said, “Look Ma, Bothans!” They didn’t get it.

Bricker…Like brick, only more so.

Briori…When a Briori time travels into the future, there comes a point when they’re transformed into a Bosteriori.

Brunali…Think Muhammad Ali in the role of of Brunhilde. It sort of fits.

Buggers…Couldn’t focus in their presence. My notes are virtually indecipherable.

Caitians…From Caiti. (On their planet, an island in the Harribean.)

Capelons…Arch enemies of the Montagims.

Caponions…Summer or winter, indoors or out, never take their hats off.

Cavaliers…May survive a battle, but invariably get smoked afterwards.

Centrans…Operators of Warp Busses and Light-Speed Rail.

Chamachies…Love the Jamoanies.

Chaos…Siegfried (not the tiger guy, the other one) is suing them.

Chatilians…A reptilian race; you regularly come across them in chat rooms.

Cheela…Most annoying of all space aliens; everyone and every thing wants to see the last of Cheela.

Chi…Supreme game players. No one can beat Chi; no one can even tie Chi.

Chiss...Interstellarly renowned for their Chiss cheese.

Chmmr…If you can pronounce their name correctly, you win a cigar.

Cho-choi…Can’t say “choo.”

Chozo...Told me that Cher and Bozo once secretly married and honeymooned on their planet, and that they are the result. Their story is plausible from the looks of them, and from what little I know of Cher and Bozo. But I’m still not buying it.

Chronomyst…From a planet so hazy they can’t read their watches.

Cinnrusskin…Look like Russians, smell of cinnamon.

Clutch Turtles…Handle the bat quite well, for turtles.

Cocytans…Tan and cocky; mostly employed during their stays on Earth as cabana boys.

Coeurl…Desperately want to be promoted to Eurl, but time is running out.

Cole…When the Cole landed in England, they asked a passing Earthling to take them to his leader. For a joke (which he endlessly repeated afterward), he took them to Newcastle.

Cryons…They are almost all shoulder.