Extreme Liberal/Conservative Pretty Much The Same Person, Report Finds


People that yell and accuse people of being horrible humans for having different views other than their own are basically just the same person, a report released today has found.

The report, Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?, completed by a team of Ecuadorean political scientists, has found literally no distinction between the oft-labelled “right-wing fascist pig” and the “left-wing libtard snowflake.”

Dr. Lecaro, who headed the team that undertook the study, explained that if someone was screaming at the other person, saying they’re wrong, without listening to their opinions with an open mind, and instead discrediting them with offensive and often untrue character slurs, was a trait seen across both extreme left and right-leaning candidates.

“The only difference is that one side is yelling ‘SJW snowflake PC cuck’ and the other is shouting ‘racist, sexist Nazi monster,’” he said, sighing. Dr. Lecaro then took a shot of whiskey, and muttered something along the lines of “Specks in the cosmos” after the fiery liquid had burnt its way down his throat.

“The only question now is whether or not people come to their senses or continue to be played against each other to fit the agenda of the modern, click-driven media,” he offered. “I would implore people to calm down a little and listen to the facts.”

Dr. Lecaro looked about 20% confident that that would be the case.

Matt Querzoli can’t be reasoned with. Follow him if this tickled your proverbial pickle.

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