Fahrenheit 451 the Sequel, in Which Montag Selects a Surprising Book to Become

Montag walked slowly toward the fire where Granger, the leader of the Book People, was huddled.

“Sit down, Montag,” said Granger. “Have some coffee.”

“Thanks,” said Montag, raising the offered cup to his lips and taking a much-needed sip.

It had been a month now since Montag — a former fireman in charge of burning books — had fled his job and society and joined the Book People. Their purpose was to keep knowledge alive in the dark times by having each person memorize and become a book.

“Today is your day, Montag,” began Granger “to choose the book that you are to become. You’ve had a month to think about it and I know you’ll make a careful choice.”

“I believe I have,” said Montag.

“And your choice is?” inquired Granger.

“’The Art of the Deal,’” replied Montag, “by Donald J. Trump.”

“I beg your pardon, Montag.”

“’The Art of the Deal’ by Donald J. Trump,” repeated Montag, “the former President of the United States.”

“Oh my God, that’s what I thought you said! Are you shitting me?”

“Why no, sir. That’s the book I wish to become.”

“But why, Montag, why?! There are so many great books available: ‘A Tale of Two Cities,’ ‘Sense and Sensibility,’ ‘Les Miserables.’ Even ‘Fifty Shades of Gray’ would be better!”

“But Mr. Trump was the former president of the United States, sir.”

“Do you know what kind of president Trump was, Montag? What he did to the Presidency you used to do to books.”

“But, sir, I even know the beginning of the book already. Here I’ll recite it.”

“No, no, please, please, that’s not necessary!”

“I don’t do it for the money. I’ve got enough, much more than I’ll ever need. I do it to do it. Deals are my art form. I like making deals, preferably big deals. That’s how I get my kicks.”

“Oh, God, I’m going to be sick!”

“You do look green, sir.”

“Please don’t become that book, Montag, I’m begging you! There are several titles in the ‘Captain Underpants’ series available, you could become one of them!”

“No, Mr. Granger, I’m quite sure I want to become ‘The Art of the Deal’ by Donald J. Trump.”

“Okay, Montag, if you wish. But if you become ‘The Art of the Deal,’ there’s one thing I think you should be aware of.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t ever expect to be invited to any parties.”