FAQ Sounds A Lot Like What I’d Like To Say To FAQs
The first time an FAQ actually helped me, I was so surprised I told people about it.
Trying to get any real assistance on a conglomerate website is like asking the household infant where the bathroom is- they kinda know the answer but they can’t be dealing with your shit.
But for real, the first layer of defence against actually having to talk to you directly is sending you to the FAQ. Frequently Asked Questions, for the 0 people who haven’t yet heard of them. I required the use of the FAQ today, and this is the reason for my tone. Oh but when I say I required the use of it, I mean I groaned audibly when I was lazily delegated to one.
Essentially, FAQ is euphemism for “Sigh, just ask the other moaners”. I also have a sneaking suspicion that none of the questions were frequently asked after all. One FAQ from a social media account that I will not name, featured the question “where can I find the settings?”.
My doubt regarding the legitimacy of such an innocent sounding question is rooted in the fact that the FAQ is harder to find than the settings on said platform. In fact if the poor boomer (probably) had just looked an inch and a half down from the help option, he would have seen the golden gear icon in all it’s glory.
I get that it’s fully plausible that there are some poor navigators on the internet that are about as tech savvy as Fred Flintstone. The internet is a maze and sometimes you need a concierge to grab their bags and walk them back to the start.
Just once though, just one time, on an occasion where a service is provided a tad poorly, can I click help and be on live chat within a click or two. None of this pass the buck like someone’s come to the till with a £50 note.
Just one time can I appear in front of a live helper like Amy in those old Amazon Fire ads, where they appear like saviour brow furrowed and genuine concern for your pathetic tech problem.
In an era not so far from the present day I expect to see employees airdropped from a plane or hanging from a drone. Ready with a door key and in front of your laptop within minutes.
In the long term future we should just scrap the fancy bells and whistles. Just have a computer dispenser where you drop the old ones in like scrubs, and then grab your new laptop with the problem solved and memory transferred.
Hang on a sec I’m off to pitch these-
