Father Loses Daughter’s Respect After Ghost Story Falls Flat During Recent Sleepover
Local father, Mike Stanton, faces an uphill battle to regain the respect of his daughter Erica after failing to tell a ghost story scary enough to conjure even the slightest bit of terror from a group of completely game 9-year-old girls on Friday night. “It was a tough crowd. I definitely didn’t have my A-game that night,” Stanton admitted with his head hung low. “I rushed a couple jump scares, and my creepy flashlight game was all out of whack.”
His story about a spurned lover returning from the grave to seek revenge on her cheating ex-husband was called derivative by multiple sources in attendance. “I even tried to add a subplot about a werewolf, but they weren’t buying it. Apparently, werewolves aren’t even cool anymore? Nobody told me that,” a distraught Stanton admitted. He knew he lost the crowd completely when the third act was drowned out by the snores of Erica’s friend Lili. “Lili’s pretty much the leader of those girls. She was the one who taught them how to crimp their hair. Once I lost her, I knew there was no coming back.”
Things may look grim now, but Stanton has reportedly been watching hours of YouTube tutorials and plans to win back his daughter’s respect by choreographing a “crazy-cool” breakdance routine for this year’s daddy/daughter dance in April. Stanton says he plans on taking Erica shopping for matching Kangol hats for the performance as soon as she decides to unlock her bedroom door and start speaking to him again.