Holiday Dating

Fed Up Dude Breaks Up With Santa Baby Chick After Greedy List

Woman was really into this Santa guy.

People may accuse children of being greedy with their Christmas lists, but they got nothing on one woman.

A man we’ll call ‘Carl’, since he asked to be kept anonymous, had a girlfriend and found out she was asking this northern guy, Santa Claus for a lot of very expensive things.

The man said it was so so over the top and flirtatious that he had enough. Is this just another insecure man, or does he have a justifiable Yuletide beef?

Carl said she asked for Santa to hurry down her chimney. Was this a double entendre? Was Santa supposed to give her preferential treatment by giving her a rush order? Is this a booty call or a special, friendly Christmas delivery?

Carl wondered if he was a good provider. Does he need to be? They’re not married. He began to wonder if his girlfriend was truly greedy. For starters, she was asking for a fur, known as a sable. She also had a big ticket item on her list. A convertible.

We’ve all seen the commercials in recent years where people are buying their significant others automobiles. Carl didn’t think he’d ever have to be one of those people on Christmas. He said he and his friends make fun of those commercials.

Things got worse for Carl when she asked for a yacht. He asked her, ‘where are we supposed to put a yacht?’ He has heard the old joke that BOAT stands for ‘bust out another thousand’. A yacht sounds like a year-round nightmare.

She didn’t care. He started to notice more cracks in the foundation of the relationship when she asked for a platinum mine. An entire mine. Carl reiterated, ‘you think she’s gonna do any of the mining? What, I’m supposed to hire an entire crew now, and buy equipment?!’ The frustration grew from there.

She’s pressed on asking for more. Carl was livid her list was still growing. He started to see maybe they were both thinking of a future without each other. She asked for a duplex. A new place to live? Just when he thought they’d move in together, she was looking elsewhere.

Then she asked for blank checks. With her name, or someone else’s name on the joint account? Maybe, Santa Claus? Does she think those two will get together? Carl makes sure to remind us, ‘he’s married!’

But the straw that broke the manger’s back was when she asked for a ring. An engagement ring? It appears so. She wants the ring from Santa, and not Carl?

Carl told us that was it. He broke up with her. She won’t have him, or Santa. He told her as he left, she’ll never find someone if she’s all about material things. He admitted he could’ve bought her something from Tiffany’s, but he didn’t want to take part in a never-ending Christmas list to an empty relationship.

Carl left us with one last Christmas sentiment. Santa can hurry down her chimney anytime now, since he won’t be there. And the only time Santa will ever be there for her is in the very early morning of December 25th.

The rest of the 364 days a year, Santa will be in the North Pole. Carl said he’ll be moving to sunny Florida.