Five Signs Your Husband Is A Sociopath

Better read this article quickly — you might be sleeping with a monster.

Photo by Isai Ramos on Unsplash

Scan these lists of the five signs of sociopathy in various areas of marital life. If you can check any of these boxes, well, good luck.

Five signs your husband has another family on the other side of town

• He brought home Christmas presents for Charlie and Pammy. Those are not your children’s names. Plus, you’re Jewish.
• He has two cell phones. You’re not allowed to touch either one of them. “Don’t touch my phone! Or my other phone! You hear me?”
• He is gone every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights — and alternate weekends. And then for a week each summer, from which absence he usually returns with a sunburn.
• He gets your name wrong, too. You’re not Kathy. You’re Leslie.
• He is a major douche.

Five signs your husband has a woman imprisoned in your basement that he’s had nine children with

• He goes down to the basement a lot.
• He’s working on a “secret project” down there.
• Occasionally, you swear you…