Five Signs Your Wife Is A Sociopath

Better read this fast, guys — you might be sleeping with a monster

Photo by Callie Gibson on Unsplash

It’s not good to be married to a nutter, so you better read each of these carefully and make sure you haven’t made a terrible mistake. (Also, how many of these crazy ladies do you recognize?)

Five Signs Your Wife is an Axe Murderer

1. She was chopping wood yesterday.
2. You watched her chop the same piece of wood 40 times (why you were counting, I don’t know).
3. She then looked at the piece of chopped up wood, stared at it for 60 seconds, and started drooling.
4. When she saw what she had done, she subsequently took up another piece of wood and gave it one more chop than she had given the first piece. (Again: why were you counting?)
5. You don’t have a fireplace or a wood-burning stove. Or any need for chopped wood whatsoever. You didn’t even know you owned an axe.

Five Signs your Wife is Trying to Turn You into a Murderer

1. She keeps instructing you to look like a flower but act like a snake.
2. She yells at Spot to get out. Why is she so mean to that dog?
3. She tells you’re…