Five Stages Of A Millennial Breakup

Runjhun Noopur
Aug 25, 2017 · 2 min read
Source: Pixabay

Author’s Note : This is the twelfth installment in my 100 days, 100 blogs challenge. You can read the previous installment here.

Denial : It’s not a breakup. We’re on a break. A BREAK!

Anger : Unfriends on Facebook. Blocks all notifications. Deletes Whatsapp chat. Turns off messenger. Unfollows on Twitter. Plays Taylor Swift songs in loop. Rants on Snapchat about Taylor Swift’s terrible, horrible, unfair, undeserving relationships. Deletes all ‘so cute…you look perfect together’ photos from Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. Considers deleting their number from phone. Doesn’t.

Bargaining : Sends a text. Stares at the screen for hours. Regrets unfriending on Facebook. Considers sending a friend request. Considers following on Twitter again. Considers resending the text. Bangs head on the wall instead, in tune with Ed Sheeran’s Happier.

Depression : Shares Thought Catalog articles on Facebook , captioned ‘THIS’. Puts up self deprecating, obviously obvious, trying to be funny but not funny at all statuses. Responds to every sad emoji in the comments with a restrained, pensive one. Cries through ‘Gilmore Girls’ marathon. Eats three tubs of ice-creams in a night, for several nights. Watches the weighing scale. Cries in the bathroom. Plans night out on three separate Whatsapp groups. Cancels last minute. Writes long, poignant Facebook post in third person, about the spider widow, which according to Wikipedia, murders its mate after consummation. Re-tweets heartbreaking quotes on heartbreaks from Twitter handles ‘Lonelyheart420’ and ‘Poetsporn007’. Googles the meaning of ‘spoken word’. Shares every post by every Instagram poet ever.

Acceptance : Downloads Tinder.

The much loved A Sufi Celebration of Life is now available as a swanky ebook. Grab a Kindle version here! My latest short story If The Trees Could Walk is now available on Juggernaut. Go check it out! And don’t forget to review, rate and share! Also, if 140 character fiction is your thing, follow me on Twitter and check out my #Tiniatures!

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Runjhun Noopur

Written by

Author of the wacky happiness book, Nirvana in a Corporate Suit. Entrepreneur. Happiness Coach. Contributor, Huffpost, Thought Catalog.

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The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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