Forced Into Facebook For Health Reasons

Mark Salamon
Jul 28, 2017 · 3 min read

Until very recently I was one of the six people left in this country who was not on Facebook. This was because I knew that if I was, I would not be able to resist getting into very public arguments with people who I have to see at holidays. But I recently changed my policy because of recent medical research that has shown that people on Facebook LIVE LONGER THAN PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT ON FACEBOOK.

That’s right, researchers at the University of California-San Diego, led by William Hobbs and James Fowler, studied 12 million Facebook users and found a correlation between “balanced use” of Facebook and a lower risk of mortality. These findings were published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, and showed that Facebook users are 12% less likely to die than non-Facebook users. Life span was also shown to increase for people with more Facebook friends, photos, updates, posts, and messages. (1) The best news of all was that the number of “likes” did not affect longevity at all, which means I don’t have to stop being a know-it-all asshole to reap the benefits.

This research was also welcome news to anyone who has ever had to endure listening to me complain that technology is eroding our ability to think and be healthy. I have written at length about how things like google and GPS have made us lazy to the point that we are paralyzed and unable to function above the level of a mushroom when these systems go down. But this new research has forced me to re-think my position, and I now realize that someone staggering around squinting into a tiny screen may actually be having a meaningful, human-to-human interaction just before they clothesline themselves on a support cable.

And the more I think about it, the more examples come into my mind of technology improving my own emotional and physical health and well-being. For instance, texting enables me to be in almost continual contact with my family, even my daughters when they are away at school, which helps me worry less. And my smartphone has been a valuable tool for decreasing anxiety in awkward, public situations, such as having to sit in a small waiting room directly across from a stranger when your only options are to stare directly at each other or fake some sort of deep, pathological interest in the ceiling tiles.

And besides, humans have been using technology to help them live longer since prehistoric times. Native Americans used smoke signals to “friend” members of other tribes and keep them continually informed of important information, such as what they are eating for breakfast and which P90X workout they just completed, while Egyptians used hieroglyphics to plaster everyone’s dirty laundry on giant slabs of rock for the whole world to see, essentially creating the world’s first Facebook pages.

I used to think that Facebook users would have higher rates of death from things like embarrassment and wandering into traffic, but this research just goes to show how strong the healing properties of social connections are. So I’m on board. I’m going to eat right, exercise, floss, and tell the whole world every boring detail of my life, and I fully expect to live to be a hundred.

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Mark Salamon

Written by

physical therapist - legally inflicting pain while simultaneously trying to make people laugh http://marksalamonpt.com/

The Haven

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade