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French Kissing.
How do you know if your date is kissing or sucking the life out of you?
“Some people kiss like a washing machine.” MsaDare
“I love French kissing as long as I don’t feel he’s trying to eat my face,” Achella said on Reddit, referring to a few isolated incidents of “lizard tongue”.
She’s not blaming the guys, either. They always mean well. It’s just that their technique feels more like a teeth cleaning. “I know they’re mimicking sex,” she explained, “but I hate wondering if I’m going to need Novocain.”
As French kissing goes, that’s pretty mild. She could be dealing with a real “vampire tongue” like Rachael’s boyfriend, who “practically dove down my throat.” They’re still together, which had one male reader asking why women accept men with wet, slimy tongues.
“Because,” Rachel replied, “it gives your lizard brain something to work with in terms of figuring out whether to bone or not.”
Some women don’t like vampires. Others do, but it’s still intimidating when you hear terms like “lizard tongue.”
That’s one way of looking at it. French kissing has always been a lead-up to other things. If it’s not, either you’re too early in the relationship, or you’ve already been “stabbed” and you’re still processing what just happened.
Imagine how women felt back just after WWI when British and American servicemen came home, grabbed their girlfriends, wives — or whoever was handy — and said “This is how French women do it.”
Then shoved their tongues down their wive’s (girlfriend’s) throats.
Considering they hadn’t had sex since their lovers went off to fight the war, they didn’t care what French women did. Two years was two years. Tongue me, don’t tongue me. At least you’re not a Hun.
That’s exactly how French kissing got started over here in North America. Nobody was particularly good at it. They got the basics, which the wives and girlfriends figured out as well.
I don’t know how many third century Kama-Sutra lovers became vampires, but they were a pretty randy…
