From The Desk Of Principal Amy Cunnigham

It’s been a rollercoaster year. Only one student lost a thumb.

Dear Parents,

As we wrap up another successful year at Robert Kardashian Middle School, I’d like to take a few moments to recap some of the highlights, lowlights, and a few in-betweens.

Forty-eight students attended the Junior National Beta Convention, with Cecilia Dipadova taking second place in the on-site art competition, which qualified her for nationals.

Regrettably, during the convention, Ronald Simon bet Caleb May that he could ignite a Zippo lighter five times in a row.

Ronald didn’t achieve five in a row, so, per the conditions of the bet, Caleb cut off his thumb with a pocket knife. We’ve since removed the Roald Dahl story that inspired this bet from our reading list.

Many concerned parents emailed me during the spring semester to inquire about a phony permission slip circulating around the school giving their children consent to join the “RKMS Drinking Team.”

I can reassure you that this is not a school-sanctioned team, and the custodian supplying the students with rum has been terminated.

I want to give special recognition to Ms. Abernathy for her Teacher of the Year 2024 award…