The Haven
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The Haven

Full Spectrum Pest Control

A man in a yellow slicker, scowling and holding a pressure sprayer.
All it takes is one wet, good application of Fungteria® and you are pest-free. Photo by Bill Brokaw

There was a time when if you wanted to wipe out all the living creatures in your house had to wrap it up and pump in sulfuryl fluoride or some other equally lethal gas. Horrible stuff. Bad for the environment, bad for people. Just bad, bad, bad.

Dietrich has an alternative. It’s an all-natural, organic, wholistic, pet-friendly , low-cost, effective approach.

He calls it “Fungteria®.” It’s his own invention. No toxic chemicals, no fumes, no tent, no EPA approval.

Fungteria® is a proprietary blend of fungal spores and specially cultured bacteria. All it takes is one treatment and you are protected for at least five years, maybe 10, maybe forever. It hasn’t been tested.

Dietrich provided me with a brochure that explains the process. No matter what pests you have this will take care of it. Roaches, termites, fleas, lice, spiders, flies, mosquitoes, wasps, hornets, stink bugs, mice, rats, mites, motes, mold, mildew, dandruff, lichen, athletes foot, snails, slime, snakes, squirrels, moths, worms, maggots, bedbugs, tics, chiggers, dust bunnies, beetles, pill bugs, ringworm, roundworm, hookworm, gonorrhea, crabs, jock itch and all common and uncommon household germs are just a few of the pests that Fugteria will annihilate with just one treatment.

And it is all done from outside. For only $99 Dietrich will spray your entire house with Fungteria®. It will quickly begin growing. Within a month it will find its way into your entire house and wipe out everything you don’t want.

Except for the initial treatment, it’s odorless, tasteless and invisible. You won’t even notice it’s there, but you will notice how pest-free your home is. I had it done at my house. It’s amazing. Everything is dead. How wonderful is that?

The kids sort of seem fine, pets too (except the pet mice). We’re very pleased. This stuff is going to be big.

Dietrich is currently working on a version for farm and gardens. Imagine the possibilities for humanity. Pretty soon the entire world may be benefiting from Fungteria®.

There is even some discussion on talk radio that this stuff can be taken internally and make you immune from everything.

Dietrich doesn’t have a website and won’t give out his cell phone number, address or last name.

If you want to reach him, you need to call his beeper: 8 (013) 678 9012.

He will call you back.




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Bill Brokaw

Bill Brokaw

Photo taker and writer of Photo Stories.

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