I thought it was odd to see an old TV sitting on the side of the road out in the middle of nowhere.
Maybe not so odd, though. People have a way of conveniently placing their unwanted things along the sides of the roads out in the middle of nowhere. At least it wasn’t smashed up.
I figured maybe I could dispose of it properly somewhere and put it in my trunk. As I drove down the road I started hearing voices, which is actually pretty normal for me. Only these voice weren’t inside my head. They were coming from the trunk. And it wasn’t a bunch of voices, it was just one voice.
Well, I knew immediately what it was, the TV. Either that or the guy, Arnold, who lived in my trunk. Arnold never said much so I suspected the TV.
I stopped and popped the trunk. Arnold was sleeping and the TV was on and blathering away like cable news. Lots of words were coming out but nothing made sense. There was no picture so I slammed the side of it, like you are supposed to do with old TVs and saw a group of people in red jumpsuits staring out at me.
One of them called me by name and asked if I would like to know the future of the human race. I said if it involves red jumpsuits, no I don’t. Jumpsuits are a pain to put on and I could not bear the thought of wearing one, especially a red one.
My refusal caused considerable consternation among the panel. They wanted so badly to tell me our fate as a race and started throwing out hints about utopia, unlimited snack food and warm toilet seats in every home.
It was too much to resist and I became a willing listener. Soon I learned the future direction of the stock market, how our politics would change and the fate of global warming. It was amazing. They even had video clips showing what is coming.
At a certain point, Arnold woke up, stretched and accidently kicked the TV out of the trunk. It imploded when it hit the ground, leaving chards of glass and pieces of red jumpsuits all over the road.
Crap! I what I really wanted to know was when Arnold was going to move out of my trunk.