Getting shots to do shots
As I grow older, I try my best to find ways to stay young and keep it lit. Nothing makes me feel younger in 2021, than being in the last group to get the COVID-19 vaccine. Being in the last vaccination group slaps. It gives me something to look forward to in this endless alone time, and let me tell you: I really look forward to getting vaccinated.
In case you are curious, I’m getting vaccinated in part to piss off Jenny McCarthy but mostly because drinking to the point of getting blacked out at home just doesn’t have the same je ne sais quoi. I miss going out to my local watering hole and meeting all sorts of new people, and having those deep, genuine, and life-altering connections that I won’t remember the very next day. I want to simultaneously learn and forget your name. I miss having the same conversation, over, and over, and then over again just as enthusiastically with my dive bar bae. I miss using a questionable bathroom and praying as I squat that the lock does in fact work. I even have nostalgia for those hours spent silently drinking next to someone while we both pretend to care about baseball.
Now before you get too upset, let me say — — I understand that there are some real concerns and fears about the vaccination (just look at history). Simply put however, those are risks I’m willing to take so that I can continue taking one of my favorite risks: going into a dingy basement dive bar and surviving with no more than an extra-strong hangover. Some have tried to show me the ‘silver lining’ by pointing out how much money I’ve saved during quarantine, and I appreciate the effort and so does my bank account, but can you actually put a price on buying a round of shots that you probably can’t afford and definitely shouldn’t take? Lukewarm house tequila shots just hit differently when you are actually outside of the house.
According to scientists and healthcare professionals, a majority of the population across the country need to get vaccinated to have herd immunity. This worries me a bit as it might worry you, because there are so many people who may choose to forego the vaccine for general anti-vax beliefs, disbelief about the severity of the pandemic, or pure laziness mixed with apathy. Sitting on your couch alone for a year can do that to you. Stay positive though, because I truly believe that if we can come together to bully Paramount Pictures into redesigning Sonic the Hedgehog, then, we as a society, can come together to bully each other into getting vaccinated, so that we can bully each other in-person, at the bar, into that ill-advised “one more round!”.
I think my sentiment is best summed up by the modern day poet duo, RedFoo and SkyBlu, “shots (of the vaccine)! Shots (for all to stay healthy)! Shots (to build herd immunity)! Shots (back at dive bars: coming soon)!”
