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Humor | Gifting

Gifts Didn’t Work Out? Regift Them!

A Recycling win-win

Cappelli, MFA, JD, PhD
The Haven
Published in
4 min readJan 2, 2025

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Image by Author + Canva

Junk, trinkets, last-minute purchases at the register — all sitting in my pile of opened Christmas gifts. What looked promising before unwrapping had quickly devolved into the mundane: a pineapple-shaped candle, a “World’s Okayest Cook” apron, and a pair of socks emblazoned with neon pickleballs.

None of these items said “me,” and I think I’m easy to shop for — buy me a book. Simple. I love to read. Gift me a book that I can open and disappear into for an imaginative respite.

No books. Not this year. Instead… junk. Like I, someone who hates beer, could use a sampler pack of beers from all over the world.

Wine . . . if you knew me. The wine I would hold onto, like, why not a sampler pack of reds from Abruzzo, Italy, or Châteauneuf-du-Pape, France?

Nope. No wine. Just beer and other you-don’t-really-know-me-or-care-to- know-me items — like a monogrammed keychain, a stupid novelty mug with a picture of Trump on it, a bathroom trivia calendar, and a singing birdfeeder in the shape of a toilet.

The Guilt of Consumerism

I don’t mean to complain or seem ungrateful, but don’t I mean more to you than a last-minute gift tossed into the basket…

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The Haven
The Haven

Published in The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Cappelli, MFA, JD, PhD
Cappelli, MFA, JD, PhD

Written by Cappelli, MFA, JD, PhD

Top Know Nothing Writer with way too many degrees who enjoys musing on life's absurdity.

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