Girls Can’t Drive
My toddlers took my car and this happened.
“Your gas pedal is on the right — use it!” my five-year-old yelled out the window. “Hurry! The only things not passing you are the street signs!”
Josie knew all my favorite driving lines. I felt a surge of pride.
“Get your slow butt out of the fast lane!” my seven-year-old added.
Ricki didn’t want to be outdone by her little sister, so she added a ten second horn blast.
My Prius was parked in the driveway, windows down, with both daughters sharing the driver’s seat and steering wheel.
“Marshall?” my wife asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be watching the girls?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Sitting in your beach chair, drinking beer, and reading a book.”
“And…” I pointed to the car. “I’m entertaining the girls.”
They responded with more honking, perhaps a little on the obnoxious side.
“This is not a parking lot!” Josie shouted at her mother. “Move it!”
Thankfully she didn’t add any hand gestures.
“I see they’ve learned your offensive driving habits,” Allie noted.
“Absolutely!”
