God Owes Nigerian Gangsters Money
They say I owe them, but technically, God does.
The eclipse on April 8th, 2024, captured the hearts and imaginations of the entire world.
Many speculated that this eclipse would usher in the end of days as the path of totality passed over towns with names like Jonah, Rapture, and Nineveh and even over the replica of Noah’s ark somewhere deep in Jesus County, Kentucky.
Pundits on YouTube referenced Bible verses like Matthew Chapter 12, verse 38, where Jesus said, “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah.”
The eclipse was supposedly happening directly under a constellation of a whale! Jonah, the whale, don’t you see?
Furthermore, during the last total eclipse in 2017, the path crossed no less than seven towns named Salem. Salem, according to the video of a blonde woman sitting in her car at Trader Joe’s, is short for Jerusalem.
With tensions between Palestine and Israel reaching a fever pitch and the obvious correlation between the eclipse’s path and the Bible, it seemed crazy not to…
