GOP Plans to Relocate the Oval Office to Rikers Island Prison in 2024
Holding cabinet meetings behind bars should stop leaks, the GOP hopes.
In anticipation of a convicted Donald Trump regaining the US presidency in 2024, the Republican Party has drawn up plans for the Oval Office to be transferred to the cell in the Rikers Island prison complex where Trump is likely to serve out his sentence.
Operating the presidency from prison is a novel idea, but Trump’s supporters are confident they can not only put a positive spin on the country’s first felon president but use it to their advantage.
Plans are afoot for a video of President Trump sitting disconsolately alone in his cell at the Resolute Desk playing a specially-written blues song titled The Presidential Penitentiary Blues on harmonica. In addition to evincing feelings of nostalgia, the video will feature images of heroic prisoners such as the late John McCain and Nelson Mandela, and Martha Stewart.
The infamous orange jumpsuit that distinguishes US convicts will be leveraged too. Since the jumpsuit matches Trump’s hair and complexion, orange will be promoted as the new color of Trumpism. An orange MAGA cap is in the works, as is a line of trendy prison jumpsuits under the new fashion label Orange is the New Grift. The White House will be renamed the Orange House.
