Grammarly Ain’t No Gud!
The App needs A Remedial Writing Course
Some time ago, I submitted an article to a publication on Medium. The editor said the article had errors and suggested I download Grammarly. So I did. And I’ve learned that Grammarly needs to learn grammar!
Grammarly has a big problem when my writing style strays from the rules. I wrote: “Wow! I’d tossed and turned for TWO HOURS?” Grammarly wouldn’t see it as a question. It wanted “Had I tossed etc.”
I wrote “macaroni and cheese” and Grammarly wanted a comma after “macaroni!” Never heard of conjunctions, Grammarly?
Grammarly apparently also didn’t get the memo about present participles. I wrote, “Joyce wanted to get Harriet’s mail, Harriet and her husband being on a cruise.” Grammarly wanted “being” replaced with “are.”
Grammarly also seems ignorant of idioms. I wrote, “Anyway, mission accomplished.” Grammarly wanted “the” mission and “is” accomplished.
Grammarly is not too bright about prepositions. I wrote, “Then it was back into the car and on to Costco.” Grammarly wanted “onto,” which would have me parachuting onto the roof of the store!
Adverbs should be simple enough for Grammarly, right? Wrong. I wrote, “The doorbell rang and my wife called out that our son and daughter-in-law were here.” Grammarly wanted “there.”
Subject-verb agreement is pretty basic grammar, isn’t it? Not for Grammarly. I wrote, “My wife seemed to be explaining something to Dee and Nina, who do not like anything explained to them.”
Grammarly wanted “does,” apparently unable to see that “who” refers to Dee and Nina, not to my wife.
And another: I wrote, “A tumblerful of White Russians is way too much.” Grammarly wanted “are” — which would have me commit a subject-verb agreement error (though I might commit the error if I drank a tumblerful of White Russians).
Grammarly also is obsessed with hyphens. I wrote “My wife came out back and noted that I was trying to push the safety catch up when I was supposed to pull it down.”
Grammarly wanted “catch-up.” Why not “ketchup?”
And another: “My wife asked why I was wearing jeans since the high temperature today was expected to be 85°.”
Grammarly wanted “high-temperature.” Okay, Grammarly, let’s review parts of speech, starting with adjectives and nouns!
And:
“Built in 1762 to replace Queen Anne’s coach, the Gold State Coach has carried every British monarch since George III to their coronations at Westminster Abbey.”
Grammarly wanted “Built-in,” which would render the sentence ungrammatical. Perhaps we can rename you Ungrammarly?
Grammarly also chokes on apostrophe use. I wrote: “Did I dare take seconds with Ryleigh present?” Grammarly wanted “Ryleigh’s,” implying that I not only refilled my plate but stole Ryleigh’s gift!
It gets better. I wrote, “Or is it three months’ severance?” Grammarly wanted “months.” Just for fun, I accepted “months.” Whereupon Grammarly wanted “months’” again!
Grammarly also seems to have a limited vocabulary. I wrote, “At about 8:40 I finally rousted myself.” Grammarly insisted on “routed” and would not allow me to add “rousted” to its dictionary.
Grammarly will also not take “no” for an answer. When I tell Grammarly to dismiss a correction suggestion, the red underline disappears. But as soon as I start typing again, the red underline reappears. What part of “Dismiss” does Grammarly not understand?
On the other hand, Grammarly is honest. I tried the new Grammarly GO app which is more like AI, and asked for suggestions to improve this article. Grammarly replied:
“One way to improve the effectiveness of the writing is to use a different grammar-checking tool better suited to the writer’s specific needs and writing style.”
Thanks, Grammarly! Will do!
