The Haven
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The Haven

Guess The US President By His Slutty Pickup Line

Photo by John Bakator
  1. “Hey girl, wanna climb to the top of Mt. Vernon?”
  2. “I hold this truth to be self-evident, that I am endowed by my creator with a certain, inalienable boner.”
  3. “Is your dress from the Gorbachev Outlet Mall, cause I’m about to tear it down!”
  4. “Wanna know why they call me Dick?”
  5. “Your body’s so spectacular I’m…

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Dash MacIntyre

Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post, and is publishing comedy lots of places. Follow THP on Twitter to read my Dada journalism.