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A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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H.R. Guidelines for Halloween 2024

Joe Bee
2 min readSep 21, 2024

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Good afternoon,

With Halloween right around the corner, we’ve decided to address the company-wide expectations a little earlier this year to avoid any confusion.

Last Halloween devolved into inappropriate behavior and, according to upper management, Satanic rituals aimed at cursing the womb of our CFO.

We have our suspicions, but until we find who vexed her uterus, damning her to a life of barren spinsterhood, we’d like to get ahead of this year’s Halloween office celebration.

1. Costumes must be workplace-appropriate.

Please refrain from anything showing too much skin. While Cecilia’s interpretation of The Birth of Venus last year was impressive, we cannot have exposed nipples and/or labia during working hours.

Also, I understand the spooky spirit of Halloween, but showing up to the office covered in pig blood and/or using deformed baby dolls as props to show the sadistic nature of your costume is strictly forbidden.

2. Cultural Appropriation

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A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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