Hardworking pastor who lost entire life savings to fraud, lets conman have it in court.


Easton, MA: A whole community is reeling from extraordinary devastation after been taken in by a wretched pyramid scheme artist. Suspicion began after investors were slowly weaned off the monthly payments due to them. This kept up until the checks suddenly fizzled out all together.

The FBI has arrested Gus Volmer of Taunton MA on several charges including mail and wire fraud amounting to $58 million.

An aggrieved co-conspirator alerted lead detective, Special Agent Marvin Tomilson that they’d find Gus at the Foxwoods Resort Casino. Sure enough, there he was in one of the executive luxury suites, cradled between 2 gorgeous harlots. They were all in a giant golden bathtub deeply engaged in unutterable fornicating infamies. Every now and then, one of them would break from the lurid entwinement to take swigs from a Dom Perignon bottle set on a duck float. The astonished looks on their faces are said to have been priceless.

The whole hideous nightmare was set in motion at a prayer meeting held at the usual venue in the Marriott’s conference room 3 years ago. One of his most faithful congregationalists alerted Rev. Kraus to an opportunity which guaranteed a steady 22% yearly return selling armor-piercing ammunition to the Marine Corps. As a former soldier himself who served in Vietnam carpet-bombing bad guys that were trying to hide among old women and children, Martin was instantly sold. He drained his $680k retirement fund which he had painfully scraped together over the years from his meager $120k salary. It was the most the small church that his dad established could afford to pay him.

Known for his diligence and astuteness under pressure, it’s hard to think of a more cool and collected individual than Rev Martin Kraus given the downfall. Bless his heart.

This gritty 68 year old is the lead pastor of Easton’s own Blessed Flock Presbyterian Church (BFPC).

As is unfortunately the case in these situations, the pastor had gone ahead and enlisted all his close family members and friends .

Looking closer, it’s amazing Gus’ house of cards that was Gallantry Mechanics Inc lasted as long as it did. Commanders on the field somewhere in the middle east complained that soldiers were having problems penetrating even the flimsiest of the enemy’s armor. This prompted the department of defense to send engineers to the company’s East Warwick location only to find a Walmart truck delivering pallets upon pallets of hunting rifle rounds. No production was going on and there is no evidence any manufacturing ever took place. This led to a furious DoD Secretary personally signing the contract’s dissolution.

As was expected, attendance in the pre-trial at the Norfolk County District Court was astronomical. In an unconventional move, the judge, whose sister lost $78k in the scheme, allowed Reverend Kraus to give a statement. Subtly reproachful, no harsh words were used and the good preacher didn’t shed a single tear. He actually forgave the conniving rascal, Mr. Vomer, in a deeply moving summation.

Unfortunately for the perp, neither the state of Massachusetts nor the FBI are in a forgiving mood. It’s expected he will be arraigned in Boston very soon to answer for the federal charges.

The Easton community is a closely-knit one and most of the residents had unfortunately been reeled in by the cunning trickster and scum of the earth. Everyone is still coming to terms with the inimitable carnage that a sole greedy grifter has rendered on their sleepy town.

A special prayer meeting has been scheduled at the church and attendees are being asked to try and chip in as to help their affected comrades. The venue again, will be in BFPC on Pleasant St. and not the Marriott. Repeat, prayers are being held at the church itself..for now.