Member-only story

Have I Become Medium’s Goofball?

Well, at least I have Rosebud Magazine.

Robert Cormack
The Haven

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I know there’s been considerable (let’s call it dissatisfaction) on Medium lately. I don’t like to punch anyone when they’re down. Firstly, they might get up. Secondly, I’m no good at swinging downward.

This has been a problem since childhood. Any time I got a chance to punch someone when they were down, I failed miserably. One I missed, the other I helped up before I’d even swung.

Everyone kept yelling “You haven’t even hit him yet, goofball!”

I only mention this because Medium appears to be on the ground (for reasons I don’t understand). Given my problem with striking downward, I’ve decided to just say, “Get up, I’m harmless!”

I am a bit miffed, though, much like that kid I helped up. He punched me in the stomach. Then he danced around. Am I being punched in the stomach now (figuratively) by Medium? Have I become their goofball?

Admittedly things have changed since I started here in 2015. Like many, I’ve watched as payments have declined to mere cents. I couldn’t even buy that kid who sucker-punched me a cola. Not that I would.

He sucker-punched me.

I’m just saying, with 9K followers and forty subscribers (not to mention hundreds of articles…

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