Viral Moments
Hawk Tuah-Mania: Everyone’s Spittin’ On Cocks
The internet finally does something helpful to advance sex-positivity.
This past week, the internet got its biggest viral video year with the ‘Hawk Tuah’ gal. Interviewed by some some random guy for a non-news source, the southern woman, Hailey Welch, gleefully told the viewers her favorite sex move:
“You gotta give him the ‘Hawk Tuah’ and spit on that thing, you get me?!”
After watching this, every man shared it with everyone possible. Then the self-proclaimed fun-time fillies did too. It was off to the races.
Everyone was spitting on everyone else’s cocks. It was the permission everyone needed to hear. It’s the go-ahead to be as sloppy as you want to be while giving oral. It’s the mouth-dancing on their disco sticks.
People yelled it at the LIV Golf event this past weekend. On-lookers could barely contain themselves to yell the new catchphrase, hoping to get some wet dicks themselves. Hawk Tuah right into someone’s hole in one.
The merchandise is already being printed up and flying off the online shelves. Hawk Tuah t-shirts and hats. Every time you wear one, it’ll be a vivid reminder that people like slobbin’ on the knobbin’. Soon enough there will be boxer shorts with a hole in the crotch that reads, ‘Hawk Tuah Here’.
In the interview of Ms. Welch, she also yelled, ‘I love you Pookie, for ever!’ Was that a joke? If so was everything else a joke? She knew her go-to sex move right off the top of her head. So she was having a good time, but serious in the advice she was giving us.
It’s why we are now on course for ‘Hawk Tuah Summer’. The video went viral right at the start of the summer season, so it’s perfect time. It’ll be months before men’s penises shrivel up for winter season.
Were you inspired to spit on some cocks this week? Will you this summer? Lube may be discarded this year, in favor of good ol’ saliva. Maybe the birth rate will decrease, since people just want some Hawk Tuah BJs.
With everyone doing the Hawk Tuah, you’ll now be spittin’ before. It’s up to you whether to spit after.
