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HUMOR

Here’s What Happened When I Tried to Fly with My Emotional Support Insect

Some Bugs Just Don’t Fly

2 min readMay 12, 2025

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The author with Ticklemonster, the millipede who inspired this fictional humor piece. Ticklemonster lives at the Durham Museum of Life and Science. (Author photo. Used with permission.)

The trouble began as I settled into my middle seat and the woman in the aisle seat shrieked, “OMG there’s a bug on your arm!”

“That’s not a bug,” I told her. “That’s ‘Legs’ — my emotional support millipede.

“No!” she protested. “That’s a great big slimy disgusting bug! Get it out of here.”

“I will get Legs out of here — the moment this plane lands in Durham. He and I will deplane with everyone else. Until then, Legs is here to help me overcome my fear of flying.”

“Who's going to help me with my fear of flying with a gigantic bug just a few inches away from me?”

“That’s not my problem. You should have brought your own emotional support animal. You obviously need one. You’re kind of hysterical.”

“You’re crazy! He’s a bug.”

“I am crazy — and that’s why I need this bug. I was always too anxious to fly before I got Legs. Now the soothing feel of his hundreds of tiny legs as he crawls up my arm calms me.”

“I don’t think there’s anything soothing about a gigantic bug crawling up your arm.”

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The Haven
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Published in The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Roz Warren, Writing Coach
Roz Warren, Writing Coach

Written by Roz Warren, Writing Coach

Writing Coach Roz Warren (roSwarren@gmail.com) can help you improve and publish your work. Roz writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times.

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