Member-only story
HUMOR
Here’s What Happened When I Tried to Fly with My Emotional Support Insect
Some Bugs Just Don’t Fly
The trouble began as I settled into my middle seat and the woman in the aisle seat shrieked, “OMG there’s a bug on your arm!”
“That’s not a bug,” I told her. “That’s ‘Legs’ — my emotional support millipede.
“No!” she protested. “That’s a great big slimy disgusting bug! Get it out of here.”
“I will get Legs out of here — the moment this plane lands in Durham. He and I will deplane with everyone else. Until then, Legs is here to help me overcome my fear of flying.”
“Who's going to help me with my fear of flying with a gigantic bug just a few inches away from me?”
“That’s not my problem. You should have brought your own emotional support animal. You obviously need one. You’re kind of hysterical.”
“You’re crazy! He’s a bug.”
“I am crazy — and that’s why I need this bug. I was always too anxious to fly before I got Legs. Now the soothing feel of his hundreds of tiny legs as he crawls up my arm calms me.”
“I don’t think there’s anything soothing about a gigantic bug crawling up your arm.”