Member-only story
Making movies great again
He’s our President/ He Should Be Pope/ He’s Saving Hollywood/’Cause He’s No Dope
A 100% tariff on “foreign-made” films! Consider the possibilities
Pay no attention to those plunging poll numbers, folks! And forget about that uppity new prime minister of what will soon be our 51st state insisting that Canada’s not for sale.
Never say never, dude.
If you’re still dumb enough to listen to the Fake News, those lying scum will have you all up in your feelings about silly stuff like due process or birthright citizenship or the Constitution (which, we’re not entirely sure what that says, but that’s what we have very smart lawyers for, and of course we’ll do whatever the Supreme Court tells us we have to, as long as it we agree with it).
Also, shut up about egg prices already.
As for that kerfuffle between India and Pakistan, that’s too bad. Really a shame. But just because they both have at least 170 nuclear warheads and are already lobbing strikes at each other, that’s no reason to lose your focus on your golf swing.
Marco Rubio will get that straightened out in no time — that is, when he finds time to be Secretary of State while he’s also serving as National…
