Hey! It’s Your Tiniest Female Friend Who’s Texting You Because This Guy’s Been Following Me For 15 Blocks So If I Stop Replying You Should Call The…Hm…

Hey there, sorry to bother you. It’s me, your five foot two, 100 lb. female friend. I was just walking around downtown alone tonight and this guy started following me so I thought I’d text you just in case. And by “just in case” I mean just in case he brutally murders and dismembers me in an alley.

So if you don’t hear from me in a few minutes or so, don’t hesitate to call…