Hi, I’m Harvey’s Right Eye and I’ve Been Trying to Expose Him for Years.

Hi, I’m Harvey’s right eye and I have been screaming silently (because I do not have a voice box) for years!! I don’t know if any of you noticed it. All those years of trying has tired me out. These days I have a really hard time getting up everyday.

It’s been awful. He’s made my life hell. I even lost a best friend; a brother, throughout all of this. Left eye. Left eye and I were very close at a time. But when he would not join me in my revolt I could no longer be close to him. I saw him as complicit.

There were times I did not think I could go on. I considered not ever getting up again. We were at Cannes and I was refusing to get up. But then Ears told me that Harvey was considering covering me with an eye patch. A part of me thought “Perfect, now he will be seen as the criminal he is!”. I was naive in my understanding of bad guy tropes. Ears reminded me how silly I was, they said that most people in Hollywood love the “bad guy” and the eye patch would only make him seem cool. So I continued to get up but with reluctance.

I am just so relieved this is all out now and my nightmare is over. Frankly, I can’t believe he was ever mistaken for a human. I mean, even without my efforts he looks EXACTLY like a MONSTER. His skin! It’s patchy, discolored, lumpy! His hair! The placement; a lot of hair in all the wrong places, little hair in all the right places. Real obvious stuff here people. His SIZE! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? He is a MONSTER. I know he was always around really small women and you thought they were just extra small ‘actresses’. But no! They were standard small. He is a MONSTER.

Oh and I can’t believe I even have to remind you of his personality! COME ONNN! It was MONSTROUS! The yelling and berating and scheming and cheating. You just considered this business savvy!!? I’m really worried about all of you.

I tried, I really tried. I mean look at me. But thankfully it’s over! I am indebted to those brave women who came forward and I am so grateful to the, of course, women journalists at the New York Times.

Good bye.