How I Give Advice To Others Vs. How I Give Advice To Myself
Why can’t I give myself the kind of advice I give to others?
Ambition
Others: Give yourself a break! You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. You turned 29 this year, right? You can always achieve great things later. Colonel Sanders was 65 when he started KFC, you know.
Myself: You’re already 29 years and 8 months old! Sorry to inform you, but that leaves you with just 4 months to get into the Forbes 30 under 30 list.
People
Others: BE YOURSELF!!! Don’t ever care about what anybody else thinks.
Myself: You’re a part of society and people should like you. In fact, each one of the 7.8 billion people on this planet should like you. (No matter how much you personally hate yourself.)
Career
Others: You must follow your passion.
Myself: You must start making more money like those friends of yours who’ve got MBAs.
Travel
Others: Go out into the world, sky dive, swim across the English Channel, live in South Korea for six months, have an alligator’s tail for dinner.
Myself: Great writers like Proust were confined to their rooms for most of their lives. Maybe you too should stick to the indoors.
Rise & Shine
Others: It’s a cliche, but waking up early every day can really do wonders for you. It’s the best time to focus, and the air is just so fresh.
Myself: Oh, it’s almost daylight. 4:11 AM. I better inhale all this fresh air in my room and go off to sleep.
Shame
Others: What’s done is done! There’s no point going over all the times you’ve embarrassed yourself in public.
Myself: It’s good to get nostalgic sometimes. Especially, about that time you ended up farting next to your crush in the elevator and her nasal hair caught fire.
Relationships
Others: Love can be blind, stupid and costly to maintain. You’re lucky you’re single.
Myself: Some day you’ll find your soulmate, and spend the rest of your life cuddling her (Awww!), and you’ll never argue with each other (Lol).
Stress
Others: There’s no reason for you to be anxious. Just take a few deep breaths and be in the present moment.
Myself: Well, you might just have a full-blown panic attack. Go out and have a quick smoke. And then another one. And another. Until the insides of your lungs turn into a coal mine.
Rage
Others: Will you please calm down? You need to get a hold of yourself. Maybe, try counting backwards from 10 to 1.
Myself: AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!! Take whatever inanimate object you find (costlier the better) and smash it on the floor right now. You can also try smashing your fist on the floor.
Faith
Others: It’s the darkest just before dawn. So, never ever loose hope.
Myself: Antarctica gets 6 months of darkness every year. Maybe you should move there and put an end to all these false expectations you have from life.
