How Millennials on Medium Taught This Gen Xer How To Write

I’ve been writing for 25 years and just stumbled upon Medium a few months ago. I was so excited! I would have another platform to showcase my work, connect with other serious writers and start making some real money. So I got started right away. I imported some of my blog posts and found some publications that would accept them. Ready, set, money!

And…I made $1.56. “What’s wrong?” I asked myself? I need to get curated, that’s it! So I wrote some more and….$0.32. No curation. No duckets (look it up Millennials). So I scoured Medium for answers. It turns out, according to all the Millennials that got curated, I was writing wrong the whole time.

What these Millennials told me with articles like “You Suck If You Can’t Make A Ton of Money Writing” and “I’m Doing Better Than You” is that I’m too old and a 24-year-old has honed the craft better than me. So, if you can’t beat them, join them. Here are some tips I’ve gleaned from curated articles that I will be incorporating into my writing:

Get personal

It’s ok to get intimate. “Naked Yoga” seems to be doing well and “My 13 Kama Sutra Poses” has gotten like 9,000 claps. It’s also perfectly fine to write about my vagina.

Get provocative

Ok, “My Vagina Itches”?

Write often

I love this one. After two books and a blog, it seems that all I had to do was write ten articles a day on Medium, while managing my own business.

Use conviction

“My Vagina Really Itches!”

Don’t use the word “Millennial”

Whoops

And of course, when all else fails, write about how to write. Those seems to be the big money makers. After all, “If you can’t do, teach.” So I’m thankful for all that these successful young writers have taught me. I’ll be seeing you on the front page!