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How Not To Dress Old
Not to be ageist or anything, but c’mon Granny, get hip!
NOTE: This is satire, the author is not the same person as this first person narrator, who is might have good intentions but things go awry. The thing escalates into black humor — that was the point, to entertain with some absurdism, not to insult older women. In fact, it was because I saw a clickbait article with this same title that I thought was kind of ageist that I decided to write this satire. Here is a whole explanation of my thought process if you care to read. https://medium.com/the-haven/how-to-make-humor-without-offending-e28074979149. Now, if you choose to be entertained with a piece of dark humor, please proceed! If not, have a nice day!
Dressing when you get older does not mean losing your personal style. Women should be encouraged to dress in a way that makes them look confident — not gross and horrible. However, for many older people, picking out decent clothes is challenging, especially when they’ve lost that youthful appearance. We encourage everyone to embrace their age, and we are against ageism in any shape or form. We are just here to help you, Granny, really.
Here’s what you need to stop wearing. Like right now.
