How to Act Like an Extrovert at Work
So people will think you’re engaged
Research indicates that on most workday mornings, even before getting out of bed, most people ask themselves, “Can I call in sick today?”
Once they get to the workplace, however, the vast majority of employees want to do a good job and be successful. That can be a little more challenging if you are an introvert. One reason for this is that extroverts tend to be in charge.
Extraverts tend to be in charge because the people who put them in charge are also extroverts. Extraverts tend to see other extraverts as the obvious choice when it comes to fulfilling any need. As a rule, they don’t think highly of introverts. That’s because extraverts conflate an individual’s ability to talk a lot with competence. It’s like a club, although I’m not sure if a secret handshake is involved.
As an introvert, you need to realize that the person who will hand out assignments and evaluate your performance will most likely be an extravert.
The key thing an extravert will look for in evaluating you is, your level of engagement. Engagement is defined as, “the ability to look like you are busy and act like you care.”
Engagement is vitally important for the success of consultants who tell organizations what they are doing wrong. Sometimes they include what to do about it, but that costs extra. Either way, they will quickly leave to figure out what to do with all the money they just “earned.”
That being said, introverts need to have a game plan that will produce a high engagement score. Let’s look at some tips for success by focusing on one typical workplace scenario — a team meeting lead by your manager.
Six Tips to Help Introverts Improve Their Engagement Score in Team Meetings
- Make sure to always have something to say in meetings, even if it adds no value.
As already mentioned, your manager will be watching to see if you are engaged. They will base their evaluation of your level of engagement by using the following formula:
(Words Uttered)/(Total Length of Meeting) — (Number of Yawns or Eye Rolls)
That being said, as an introvert, it is critically important that you say words out loud, preferably using complete sentences. It’s a fact that, in most cases, the importance or impact of what you say matters less than the fact that you are talking. Extraverts are very comfortable with this because they often spend quite a bit of time talking without ever saying anything. Some of them are even aware of this.
2. Make an effort to say things that are somehow connected to the topic being discussed.
Although it is more important to say something than it is to be silent, you should try to periodically say things that are at least somewhat connected to the topic being discussed.
Example: You are in a team meeting and your manager says, “Now that we’ve laid out these two possible solutions, I’d like us to discuss the potential financial implications of going with Solution A vs. B.”
Poor Connected to Topic Response: “Hey, how about all that rain yesterday!”
Good Connected to Topic Response: “Discussing the financial implications between these two is so important but, hey, how about all that rain yesterday!”
3. If you can’t think of anything to say, just paraphrase and repeat what someone else already said.
Let’s face it, extraverts are trapped in mindless meetings just like introverts. Making useful comments can be a challenge for them as well. Yet, we know, and research confirms this, that they are compelled to talk.
When push comes to shove, extraverts will simply paraphrase what someone has just said before going off on a tangent that may or may not be connected to the topic. This is a very useful technique that serves a dual purpose. It gets them lots of engagement points and it ensures that the meeting will drag on much longer than it ever should have.
The obvious advantage of using this technique is that you don’t have to come up with something of your own to say. The disadvantage is that you can’t spend as much time fretting about all of the real work you have to do or creating a list of items you need to pick up at the store on the way home. You have to periodically pay attention.
4. Ask questions.
Extraverts tend to “think while they talk” while introverts like to “think and then talk.” It can be challenging for an introvert to just blurt out comments and keep up the pace the extraverts will set. That’s where questions come in. A good question will get you just as many engagement points as a comment.
Here is an example that combines paraphrasing with asking a question:
“Cheryl, you are saying that Bob seems to be the best candidate even though he doesn’t have any of the competencies we agreed were crucial.” (Paraphrasing)
“What’s wrong with you?” (Question)
5. Spread your comments out over the length of the meeting.
I recommend that you begin to establish your level of engagement early in every meeting. Yet, you don’t want to exhaust yourself and have nothing left for the rest of it. Since most meetings are at least five hours long — at least it feels like that — you must pace yourself.
One nice thing about jumping right into a meeting with a comment is that it can be about anything. A good example might be, “I’m so glad we’re back together. I started looking forward to this meeting as soon as we ended our last meeting.”
This comment serves a dual purpose. Not only will your manager think, “Wow, s/he’s really engaged,” it will most likely cause some of your teammates to roll their eyes which will immediately be noted by the manager on their engagement scores. I know this is not a competition but that always feels good.
Once the meeting gets going, a good rule of thumb is to throw at least one comment or question in whenever the extraverts stop talking long enough for you to get a word in edgewise. That should give you at least two or three opportunities in the course of a typical two-hour meeting.
5. Have a way to disguise your frustration at the people who talk just to talk.
How many times have you been ready to poke your eyes out in a meeting because the extroverts keep saying the same thing over and over but in different ways? Remember to be kind. They can’t help themselves.
Since you don’t want to run the risk of losing engagement points because of a yawn or eye roll, it’s advisable to always bring a large container of coffee with you to every meeting. Not only will the caffeine help you stay awake and alert, but you can also use it to cover your yawns by, “taking a drink.”
These tips are backed up by a massive amount of research along with things I randomly thought of. Incorporating these tips into regular practice will undoubtedly result in high engagement scores and most likely will not result in termination.
