How To Be A Porn Star In Bed

It’s not as easy as it looks!

With OnlyFans and Chaturbate came the democratization of porn. Now anybody with an iphone can be a porn star.

The problem I’ve been finding lately is that guys seem to have more “porny” expectations than ever before. A gal has a million more reasons to be insecure about sex — (“I didn’t squirt on the first date, is that OK?).

Ladies, relax. I’m here to with a dose of sanity. There is a huge difference between porn and real life.

For instance, the women in porn are impossible.

1. Their pussies do not grow hair.

This is a big difference. Real pussies on real ladies do grow hair. But when you look at women in porn, you would never know it. Some people call these pussies shaved, but I think that is a misnomer. There is absolutely no evidence on the bare pussy of porn having ever been shaved. And by evidence, I mean those millions of little red bumps that popped up when I shaved my pussy that one time.

A porn star’s pussy is just naturally bare, kind of like Barbie’s.

In real life, in addition to the red bumps and the chafing that comes from a shaved vag, there are other objections more serious. Young…