How to Look Like You’re Working Hard While Doing Absolutely Nothing
Published in
2 min readFeb 27, 2020
- Run your hands through your hair and go “ugh”.
- Lean in close, with your shoulders just wide enough to hide the screen.
- Go to lunch and forget to come back.
- Turn your brightness all the way down, you have sensitive eyes.
- Bring papers from home and spread them out all over your desk. Frantically look through them. A+ for tennis-like grunts.
- Zoom in on the article you’re reading so people can’t see that you are reading 15 signs that you’re a potato.
- Say “C’mon” while moving your mouse around.
- Write a list. About anything. Hence this list.
- Subscribe to every website then walk in every morning and say 1,000 emails ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
- Find the loneliest person in the office and ask them about their day. Guaranteed hour convo.
- Write a letter to Congress! (I’m a millennial and I want to show Gen-Z readers that my generation cares too OKAY)
- Make a budget on excel. Or literally, do anything on excel.
- Solve world hunger.
- Learn insider trade secrets. Then you can do nothing all day without getting fired.
- Roll a joint and see how literally no one in the office is actually paying attention to whatever you’re doing so go Instagram your heart out.
