I Am Bill Gates’ Penis

And boy is he mad at me.

I can’t really blame him. I suppose I am the most expensive penis there ever was. I mean, how much did my bad behavior cost poor Bill? Many billions of dollars, no doubt. Some huge ranches. Some big boats, I bet. All this stuff he has had to give to his wife in the divorce.

But most of all, I cost him that priceless possession that he had worked so hard to…