I Am Dexter the Cat and This is My LinkedIn Profile

I am currently not “Open to Work”

Patrick Metzger
The Haven


orange cat sitting next to a wine bottle and half glass of wine
Dexter hatching a scheme

Dexter J. Metzger Noises | Scents| Chaos


I am passionate about driving transformation in the domestic dwelling space and have a track record of turning underperforming households into a dynamic vortex of furballs and shattered water glasses. I have a reputation as an authentic, creative and versatile leader who uses intermittent affection and early-morning yowling to inspire maximum performance from my team.


Dexter Metzger commented on a post . 3 months
Saddened to read your post about recent unsolved disappearances among the small bird LinkedIn community. Sending thoughts and prayers to all those affected.

Dexter Metzger posted this . 4 months
Now hiring small birds for senior roles in my organization. Reach out to schedule an interview.


Senior Feline
Metzger Household, Permanent Full-time
March 2021 — Present — 3 years
Toronto, Ontario, Canada — On-site

  • During the first year in my new role, increased the…



Patrick Metzger
The Haven

Dilettante, smartass, apocalypticist. ***See “Lists” for stories by genre.***