The Haven
Published in

The Haven


I Am Free as a Bird

I do what I want

Has anyone ever written a whole article in the caption? [LINE BREAK] More importantly, would anyone read an article in the caption? [CHALLENGE FOR YOU!] It would make sense from a money perspective. Using smaller font guarantees people will spend more time reading it. [LINE BREAK] With all the retirees hanging around here, it’s only a matter of biology. [LINE BREAK] On the other hand, it might increase the bounce rate. Are people willing to squint for a few hundred words? I’m already squinting writing them. But that’s different. I’m hoping to get paid for my squinting. [LINE BREAK] Sorry, I meant hoping to be read. It’s all about the reading and the connections, of course. [LINE BREAK] Not the money. [LINE BREAK] I’m writing this text and thinking of Roz Warren . If someone is meta here, it’s her. And if someone already wrote an article in the caption, it’s her. [LINE BREAK] And with that, I write, thank you, Reader! [LINE BREAK — TIME FOR PRIVATE JOKES] And, can you believe it? You can’t hit return in a caption, but you can tag people! Did you hear that BichoDoMato? What about you Rocky Shores? I’m tagging you twice because you’ve got a hard time hearing stuff sometimes, Rocky Shores.[LINE BREAK —MORE PRIVATE JOKES] I’m gonna say hi to Christine Stevens because she’s an editor here, and she rules. Her writing is +++. Big up to Terry Trueman. He’s an epic poet, and one of the kind editors that help promote articles on Twitter. [LINE BREAK] Anyway, time to go. [SQUINTLY YOURS] (Photo by Alistair Dent)



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Smillew Rahcuef

VP of Imagination @CanYouImagine? • Satirist • No need to follow me, I’ll show up in your feed •