I Am Here To Donate Blood, Not Because I Am A Vampire
Just trying to do my part to help with the ongoing shortage of delicious blood.
Thank you for being so kind to me as you prepare to draw my blood, nurse. I was treated with a great deal of suspicion upon my arrival. Yes, I understand that it may seem strange for… someone like me to want to donate blood. I know there are a lot of rumors going around about who — or what — I am, but you see, I am just a community-minded person who wants to do his part to help with the ongoing shortage of precious blood. Precious, delicious blood…
I’m sorry, I became distracted by a scent I detected. Anyway, my neighbor, Frank, was in a serious accident last week with a table saw and lost a lot of blood. Luckily, I was there to find him and summon an ambulance. He needed several transfusions to stay alive, the poor man. Like a good neighbor, I stayed in his garage and cleaned up the mess while he was recovering. The whole experience made me realize just how valuable human life is, so here I am!
I must confess, I’m a little nervous about this process. You see, I am unaccustomed to watching blood leave my body. It usually goes into my body through my mouth, ah, ah, ah, aaahhhh! That’s a joke, you see. Believe it or not, the mere sight of blood makes me queasy! I bet you…
