The Haven
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The Haven

I Hope This E-mail Finds You Hell.

Best wishes.

(Tim Mossholder)

Wait, what? I meant “find you well.”

I did. Definitely. Didn’t I? I did. Right?

Definitely.

Who says “I hope this e-mail finds you hell?”

Hashtag NotMe.

I love having you as a colleague! LOVE. You’re my fav! It’s been such a joy to work with you these last several years. An. Absolute. Joy!

You are always there for me. ALWAYS. Mostly. You’re mostly there for me. And you always respond when I have questions about your timesheets. Well, you respond to the important questions. Okay I usually need to hunt you down about your timesheets which has actually been a pretty big lift during a global pandemic. But, still, you’re a joy.

I mean, there was that one time you asked if I could spot you some money for the company fundraiser. I was totally happy to; it was such a great cause — the children, am I right!? It was only $250, and it wasn’t that long ago. Three years is basically yesterday. And I know you’re “definitely going to get it to me, oops.” So I’m not stressing about it.

Not. At. All.

Also, you were the only person out of 29 staff who forgot to submit 360-degree feedback for my last annual review. Without full participation, I was denied my promotion and raise. I really needed that extra money for some medical bills. But I know you were busy. That The Weeknd concert looked SO amazing on Facebook.

Not your Facebook; you haven’t accepted my friend request yet.

My therapist doesn’t 100% agree that you are “my most trusted advisor at work.” I don’t get his diagnosis, and I’m thinking about dropping him anyway. What does he know? My life coach actually thinks my therapist is pretty smart — with the Ph.D. in inter-personal work tension and all — but still, I’m not sure I buy it.

Anyway. I DO hope this e-mail finds you well, Susan.

Oh, B-T-dubs, still waiting on your timesheets for the months June through October, 2020.

Whenever you can get to them.

No rush at all.

Best wishes.

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